Mama w/Pen: Is Social Expectation Destiny for a New Generation of Parents?
(Boy Baby Names: Gender Neutral Trend, from Cullen to Cameron
“Among my generation of parents, our nontraditional boys’ names—vaguely androgynous, nonmacho, or just plain unique—reflect our own desire to raise sons who will be as comfortable pushing dolls in strollers as pushing trucks,” said Deborah Siegel, Ph.D., author of Sisterhood, Interrupted and founding partner of SheWrites….“But what I wonder is this: Will a boy by a different name really be that much more sweet?”
It got me thinking. Offspring of a generation that believed boys and girls were made, not just born, I know better. But the nature/nurture debate rages on. And sometimes I wonder whether social expectation has replaced biology as destiny.
I mean, if social expectation, and not biology, shapes who children become, does that somehow put an unfair burden on us to create the self-confident, athletic, truck-loving girls and sensitive, doll-hugging boys we were raised to achieve?
Clearly, I’m in a bit of a knot about it all. Probably just because I just haven’t had much sleep.
Would love to hear what YOU think.
Last 5 posts by Deborah Siegel
- MAMA W/PEN: Work, Life, and Repentance - September 5th, 2011
- MAMA W/PEN: Updates from My New Gig - August 5th, 2011
- MAMA W/PEN: A Day and a Half in the Life of an Op-Ed - July 6th, 2011
- Got Writing/Life Balance? - June 22nd, 2011
- MAMA W/PEN: Do Women Shy Away from "Clout"? - April 4th, 2011
November 15th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
We grapple with this in my Women’s Studies classes ALL the time. The conclusion we most often come to is YES, it is our responsibility, as a generation - not just mothers, but fathers, aunts, uncles, friends - to raise equality minded individuals, no matter how hard or unfair it may seem. Yes, our children will resist us and express their “innate” gendered identities in a myriad of ways, but we must make the effort to raise social-justice minded kids who will grow into well-rounded, caring adults. Utopian? Yes. Fanatic? Maybe. But I’m gonna do it anyway
November 16th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Pamela, I’m with you — two words: ME TOO.
BTW has anyone heard of the term “equalist” parenting? Just wondering. I think it’s a term in a book someone on the playground recently told me about, called Growing a Girl — must check it out pronto.